RELATIONSHIP
25/03/2012 prepared by Natasha M (with the help of this website)
How to End a Friendship
How to End a Friendship
If you think your friendship isn't going anywhere and you're sick of it, don't let it linger, end it!
Think about the situation. Have you been growing apart from your friend for a while, or did you just have a fight? Remember that it could all be a misunderstanding, which can usually be cleared up with a good honest conversation. Only after trying to talk it out should you consider breaking off the friendship.
Think about the situation. Have you been growing apart from your friend for a while, or did you just have a fight? Remember that it could all be a misunderstanding, which can usually be cleared up with a good honest conversation. Only after trying to talk it out should you consider breaking off the friendship.
Realize who and what you're dealing with. If you're dealing
with what is known as the active friend (The friend who is first to act in a
verbal/physical fight, or is usually into having drama), you should be aware of
what is going to set them off, and be sensitive to what they are feeling.
Passive friends (friends who stay away from drama, and will just look around the
room if they're being talked to in a negative manner) can be easier to deal with
in the moment, though be prepared for some passive aggression.
Write down several ideas of things things you can do or say to this person. This will give you some ideas, and make you feel prepared. Why do you want to end the friendship? Is there anything your friend can do?
- Decide if it is best in this situation to let your friend go gently or if it would be better to simply say "I don't want to be friends anymore."
Begin detaching yourself. Even if you've decided to take the blunt route and simply tell your friend you want it to be over, they should see some sort of change in the relationship first so that the end doesn't hit them completely by surprise.
- When they start a conversation, just make small talk. Don't get into a full conversation and don't use too many adjectives or details. This shows that you don't care for much of what they say.
- Stop calling them just to talk. If you call them, chances are, they will start calling you. Don't answer your phone every time they call, so they start getting the hint.
- If they ask you to go somewhere with them, say you aren't really in the mood to go anywhere. Don't lie and say you are busy. If you say that you are busy, they are going to try asking you some other time.
Start making new friends. You don't have to wait until your other friendship is over. If your other friend sees that you are hanging out with other people, s/he will see that you are moving on and will hopefully get the hint. Try sitting at a different lunch table in the cafeteria if you normally sit with them (unless this creates complications with other friends). You can also ask your teachers to switch seats if you really do not want to sit near them.
Realize that it may not be possible to disconnect yourself from one friend without losing a few. If you hang out in a big group of friends, there is a very high probability that people will take sides, and it won't always be yours that they take. Be sure that you are prepared for this and make sure to have a support system in place.
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