with some people you ballet-ing, boogie-ing, hopping, tapping, jazzing, waltzing, rumba-ing, balling, disco-ing, salsa-ing or tango-ing, with some it's a constant and rough break that requires sharp position changes and razor blade balancing, with some you rock-n-roll pleasantly... you always learn to step properly, rearrange your body language, to turn the right way, to pay attention to the partner you dance with... with some people though you just stand and watch the others dancing around you waiting for him/her to make the first move and invite you while the music is still on... the dance might never happen but you never loose your patience... with some it is very easy as you hear the music in unison, you are alined and you are prepared to make some nice moves together... no matter who you dance with: women or men... every new dance you learn requires full attention and wise turns: you need to feel your partner as one wrong move and one unthinkable body reposition can leave you with a bruise, with a pain in your feet... or even worse: broken legs... one dancing partner requires to be leading in your dance, the other - to be led and my god help you if you do not understand this - you might never hear the music together again if you neglect the latter. and it is always about two of you in this knot. the music can end but the feeling remains... let's learn to be professional dancers...
one day we talked about creativity with my friends and i mentioned that lots of creative people get together at our events. one of my friends looked at me and he said: "what you are saying is that i am not creative. i play beach volleyball therefore i am nothing?" i replied: "no, i did not mean to offend you in any way. you can be creative in anything you do. i see your passion when you play sport. that is when creativity comes out..." he did not believe me and i did not want to explain myself more. i though by explaining i will just make it worse to the person who does not believe that he is creative or he simply wants to believe he is uncreative... i did not want to reassure him as i could see his creativity in many things towards life. he just needed time to understand it. today i opened Osho's pages i read about creativity and its essence. that is where the wise answers are...and i thought i'd publish and share the article...
you will ask why this article and how it fits into relationship? i consider CREATIVITY as relationship with yourself - the first relationship that you need to fix so the others will fix themselves as a result of harmony with yourself...
OSHO ON CREATIVITY
What Is Creativity? – Creativity Is a Quality
I believed I was uncreative. What else can be creativity besides dancing and painting and how to find out what my creativity is?
"Creativity has nothing to do with any activity in particular – with painting, poetry, dancing, singing. It has nothing to do with anything in particular.
"Anything can be creative – you bring that quality to the activity. Activity itself is neither creative nor uncreative. You can paint in an uncreative way. You can sing in an uncreative way. You can clean the floor in a creative way. You can cook in a creative way.
"Creativity is the quality that you bring to the activity you are doing. It is an attitude, an inner approach – how you look at things.
"So the first thing to be remembered: don't confine creativity to anything in particular. A man is creative – and if he is creative, whatsoever he does, even if he walks, you can see in his walking there is creativity. Even if he sits silently and does nothing, even non-doing will be a creative act. Buddha sitting under the Bodhi Tree doing nothing is the greatest creator the world has ever known.
"Once you understand it – that it is you, the person, who is creative or uncreative – then this problem disappears.
"Not everybody can be a painter – and there is no need also. If everybody is a painter the world will be very ugly; it will be difficult to live. And not everybody can be a dancer, and there is no need. But everybody can be creative.
"Whatsoever you do, if you do it joyfully, if you do it lovingly, if your act of doing it is not purely economical, then it is creative. If you have something growing out of it within you, if it gives you growth, it is spiritual, it is creative, it is divine.
"You become more divine as you become more creative. all the religions of the world have said: God is the Creator. I don't know whether He is the Creator or not, but one thing I know: the more creative you become, the more godly you become. When your creativity comes to a climax, when your whole life becomes creative, you live in God. So He must be the Creator because people who have been creative have been closest to Him. "Love what you do. Be meditative while you are doing it – whatsoever it is! irrelevant of the fact of what it is.
"Have you seen Paras cleaning this floor of Chuang Tzu auditorium? Then you will know: cleaning can become creative. With what love! Almost singing and dancing inside. If you clean the floor with such love, you have done an invisible painting. You lived that moment in such delight that it has given you some inner growth. You cannot be the same after a creative act.
"Creativity means loving whatsoever you do – enjoying, celebrating it, as a gift of existence! Maybe nobody comes to know about it. Who is going to praise Paras for cleaning this floor? History will not take any account of it; newspapers will not publish her name and pictures – but that is irrelevant. She enjoyed it. The value is intrinsic.
"So if you are looking for fame and then you think you are creative – if you become famous like Picasso, then you are creative - then you will miss. Then you are, in fact, not creative at all: you are a politician, ambitious. If fame happens, good. If it doesn't happen, good. It should not be the consideration. The consideration should be that you are enjoying whatsoever you are doing. It is your love-affair.
"The questioner asks: 'I believed I was uncreative.' If you believe in that way, you will become uncreative – because belief is not just belief. It opens doors; it closes doors. If you have a wrong belief, then that will hang around you as a closed door. If you believe that you are uncreative, you will become uncreative – because that belief will obstruct, continuously negate, all possibilities of flowing. It will not allow your energy to flow because you will continuously say: 'I am uncreative.'
"This has been taught to everybody. Very few people are accepted as creative: A few painters, a few poets – one in a million. This is foolish! Every human being is a born creator. Watch children and you will see: all children are creative. By and by, we destroy their creativity. By and by, we force wrong beliefs on them. By and by, we distract them. By and by, we make them more and more economical and political and ambitious. "When ambition enters, creativity disappears – because an ambitious man cannot be creative, because an ambitious man cannot love any activity for its own sake. While he is painting he is looking ahead; he is thinking, 'When am I going to get a Nobel Prize?' When he is writing a novel, he is looking ahead. He is always in the future – and a creative person is always in the present.
"We destroy creativity. Nobody is born uncreative, but we make ninety-nine percent of people uncreative. "But just throwing the responsibility on the society is not going to help – you have to take your life in your own hands. You have to drop wrong conditionings. You have to drop wrong, hypnotic auto-suggestions that have been given to you in your childhood. Drop them! Purify yourself of all conditionings, and suddenly you will see you are creative.
"To be and to be creative are synonymous. It is impossible to be and not to be creative. But that impossible thing has happened, that ugly phenomenon has happened, because all your creative sources have been plugged, blocked, destroyed, and your whole energy has been forced into some activity that the society thinks is going to pay.
"Our whole attitude about life is money-oriented. And money is one of the most uncreative things one can become interested in. Our whole approach is power-oriented and power is destructive, not creative. A man who is after money will become destructive, because money has to be robbed, exploited; it has to be taken away from many people, only then can you have it. Power simply means you have to make many people impotent, you have to destroy them – only then will you be powerful, can you be powerful. Remember: these are destructive acts.
"A creative act enhances the beauty of the world; it gives something to the world, it never takes anything from it. A creative person comes into the world, enhances the beauty of the world – a song here, a painting there. He makes the world dance better, enjoy better, love better, meditate better. When he leaves this world, he leaves a better world behind him. Nobody may know him; somebody may know him – that is not the point. But he leaves the world a better world, tremendously fulfilled because his life has been of some intrinsic value.
"Money, power, prestige, are uncreative; not only uncreative, but destructive activities. Beware of them! And if you beware of them you can become creative very easily. I am not saying that your creativity is going to give you power, prestige, money. No, I cannot promise you any rose-gardens. It may give you trouble. It may force you to live a poor man's life. All that I can promise you is that deep inside you will be the richest man possible; deep inside you will be fulfilled; deep inside you will be full of joy and celebration. You will be continuously receiving more and more blessings from God. Your life will be a life of benediction.
"But it is possible that outwardly you may not be famous, you may not have money, you may not succeed in the so-called world. But to succeed in this so-called world is to fail deeply, is to fail in the inside world. And what are you going to do with the whole world at your feet if you have lost your own self? What will you do if you possess the whole world and you don't possess yourself? A creative person possesses his own being; he is a master.
"That's why in the East we have been calling sannyasins swamis. Swami means a master. Beggars have been called swamis, masters. Emperors we have known, but they proved in the final account, in the final conclusion of their lives, that they were beggars. A man who is after money and power and prestige is a beggar, because he continuously begs. He has nothing to give to the world. "Be a giver. Share whatsoever you can. And remember, I am not making any distinction between. small things and great things. If you can smile whole-heartedly, hold somebody's hand and smile, then it is a creative act, a great creative act. Just embrace somebody to your heart and you are creative. Just look with loving eyes at somebody; just a loving look can change the whole world of a person.
"Be creative. Don't be worried about what you are doing. One has to do many things, but do everything creatively, with devotion. Then your work becomes worship. Then whatsoever you do is a prayerfulness. And whatsoever you do is an offering at the altar.
"Drop this belief that you are uncreative. I know how this belief is created: you may not have been a gold medalist in the university; you may not have been top in your class; your painting may not have won appreciation; when you play on your flute, neighbors report to the police. Maybe – but just because of these things, don't get the wrong belief that you are uncreative. That may be because you are imitating others.
"People have a very limited idea of what being creative is – playing the guitar or the flute or writing poetry – so people go on writing rubbish in the name of poetry. You have to find out what you can do and what you cannot do. Everybody cannot do everything. You have to search and find your destiny. You have to grope in the dark, I know. It is not very clear-cut what your destiny is, but that's how life is. And it is good that one has to search for it – in the very search, something grows.
"If God were to give a chart of your life to you when you were entering into the world – this will be your life: you are going to become a guitarist – then your life would be mechanical. Only a machine can be predicted, not a man. Man is unpredictable. Man is always an opening, a potentiality for a thousand and one things. Many doors open and many alternatives are always present at each step – and you have to choose, you have to feel. But if you love your life you will be able to find.
"If you don't love your life and you love something else, then there is a problem. If you love money and you want to be creative, you cannot become creative. The very ambition for money is going to destroy your creativity. If you want fame, then forget about creativity. Fame comes easier if you are destructive. Fame comes easier to an Adolf Hitler; fame comes easier to a Henry Ford. Fame is easier if you are competitive, violently competitive. If you can kill and destroy people, fame comes easier.
"The whole history is the history of murderers. If you become a murderer, fame will be very easy. You can become a prime minister; you can become a president – but these are all masks. Behind them you will find very violent people, terribly violent people hiding, smiling. Those smiles are political, diplomatic. If the mask slips, you will always see Genghis Khan, Timur Leng, Nadir Shah, Napoleon, Alexander, Hitler, hiding behind.
"If you want fame, don't talk about creativity. I am not saying that fame never comes to a creative person, but very rarely it comes, very rarely. It is more like an accident, and it takes much time. Almost always it happens that by the time fame comes to a creative person, he is gone – it is always posthumous; it is very delayed.
"Jesus was not famous in his day. If there were no Bible, there would have been no record of him. The record belongs to his four disciples; nobody else has ever mentioned him, whether he existed or not. He was not famous. He was not successful. Can you think of a greater failure than Jesus? But, by and by, he became more and more significant; by and by, people recognized him. It takes time.
"The greater a person is, the more time it takes for people to recognize him – because when a great person is born, there are no criteria to judge him, there are no maps to find him. He has to create his own values; by the time he has created the values, he is gone. It takes thousands of years for a creative person to be recognized, and then too it is not certain. There have been many creative people who have never been recognized. It is accidental for a creative person to be successful. For an uncreative, destructive person it is more certain. "So if you are seeking something else in the name of creativity, then drop the idea of being creative. At least consciously, deliberately, do whatsoever you want to do. Never hide behind masks. If you really want to be creative, then there is no question of money, success, prestige, respectability. Then you enjoy your activity; then each act has an intrinsic value. You dance because you like dancing; you dance because you delight in it. If somebody appreciates, good, you feel grateful. If nobody appreciates, it is none of your business to be worried about it. You danced, you enjoyed – you are already fulfilled.
"But this belief of being uncreative can be dangerous – drop it. Nobody is uncreative – not even trees, not even rocks. People who have known trees and loved trees, know that each tree creates its own space, each rock creates its own space. It is like nobody else's space. If you become sensitive, if you become capable of understanding, through empathy, you will be tremendously benefited. You will see each tree is creative in its own way; no other tree is like that, each tree is unique; each tree has individuality, each rock has individuality. Trees are not just trees, they are people. Rocks are not just rocks, they are people. Go and sit by the side of a rock – watch it lovingly, touch it lovingly, feel it lovingly. "It is said about a Zen master that he was able to pull very big rocks, remove very big rocks – and he was a very fragile man. It was almost impossible looking at his physiology. Stronger men, very much stronger than him, were unable to pull those rocks, and he would simply pull them very easily.
"He was asked what his trick was. He said, 'There is no trick – I love the rock so the rock helps. First I say to her, 'Now my prestige is in your hands, and these people have come to watch. Now help me, cooperate with me.' Then I simply hold the rock lovingly... and wait for the hint. When the rock gives me the hint – it is a shudder, my whole spine starts vibrating – when the rock gives me the hint that she is ready, then I move. You move against the rock, that's why so much energy is needed. I move with the rock, I flow with the rock. In fact, it is wrong to say that I remove it – I am simply there. The rock removes itself.'
"One great Zen master was a carpenter, and whenever he made tables, chairs, somehow they had some ineffable quality in them, a tremendous magnetism. He was asked, 'How do you make them?'
"He said, 'I don't make them. I simply go to the forest: the basic thing is to enquire of the forest, of trees, which tree is ready to become a chair.' "Now these things look absurd – because we don't know, we don't know the language. For three days he would remain in the forest. He would sit under one tree, under another tree, and he would talk to trees – and he was a madman! But a tree is to be judged by its fruit, and this master has also to be judged by his creation. A few of his chairs still survive in China – they still carry a magnetism. You will just be simply attracted; you will not know what is pulling you. After a thousand years! – something tremendously beautiful. He said, 'I go and I say that I am in search of a tree who wants to become a chair. I ask the trees if they are willing; not only willing: cooperating with me, ready to go with me – only then. Sometimes it happens that no tree is ready to become a chair; I come empty-handed.'
"It happened: The Emperor of China asked him to make him a stand for his books. And he went and after three days he said, 'Wait – no tree is ready to come to the palace.'
"After three months the Emperor again enquired. The carpenter said, 'I have been going continuously. I am persuading. Wait – one tree seems to be leaning a little bit.'
"Then he persuaded one tree. He said, 'The whole art is there, when the tree comes of its own accord. Then she is simply asking the help of the carpenter.'
"You can go and ask Asheesh – he has a feel for wood, and wood also has a feel for him.
"If you are loving you will see that the whole existence has individuality. Don't pull and push things. Watch, communicate; take their help – and much energy will be preserved.
"Even trees are creative, rocks are creative. You are man, the very culmination of this existence. You are at the top, you are conscious. Never think with wrong beliefs, and never be attached to wrong beliefs, that you are uncreative. Maybe your father said to you that you are uncreative, your colleagues said to you that you are uncreative. Maybe you were searching in wrong directions, in directions in which you are not creative, but there must be a direction in which you are creative. Seek and search and remain available, and go on groping – unless you find it.
"Each man comes into this world with a specific destiny: he has something to fulfill, some message has to be delivered, some work has to be completed. You are not here accidentally, you are here meaningfully. There is a purpose behind you. The whole intends to do something through you."
Top 10 Tips for Teaching Indigos by Wendy H. Chapman
1. Treat them with respect If you do not show it for them, they won't give it to you despite your position of authority.
2. Listen to their opinions They need to know you care and recognize them as people of value.
3. Empower them Give them choices such as what type of product to create to demonstrate learning, what order they do the work in, perhaps between two activities (as a class decision). Having a voice that makes a difference will do wonders for their self-esteem, will usually encourage them to participate in the choice they have made, and consequently will improve their attitude towards you and towards education.
4. Solicit cooperation and avoid giving orders Indigos do not respond (at all or not positively) to those who attempt to control them. They will respond to those who treat them fairly and kindly.
5. Help them do things that make a difference If they are frustrated with the way something is - from homework in the school to homelessness in the world, encourage them to do something positive to change it.. Like writing letters to the school board or the paper, creating poetry about it, making posters, t-shirts, organizing a school or community group to focus on the issue and work to change it.
6. Help them discover and develop their talents and strengths. Encourage their creativity and unique personal expression.
7. Be tolerant of their extreme emotions Help them balance by using aromatherapy, allow them to drink water in the classroom, quiet moments or visualization practice
8. Encourage students to be peacemakers for each other Indigos are here to be peacemakers for the world. Let them practice now. This helps develop communication and compassion. Be a guide in this process.
9. Explain WHY about everything Why certain rules exist, why they need homework (Do they really if they already understand the concept?), why the world has to be the way it is. If you don't have an answer, acknowledge their frustration and show empathy.
10. Discourage medicating for ADD Often it is not ADD, but Indigo nature creating selective attention. If they can focus on a topic of their own choosing for long periods of time, it's probably Indigo, not ADD. Even if there is a problem with attention and distractability, there are alternative methods of therapy that, unlike Ritalin, do not suppress the natural creativity and leadership of Indigos. Encourage organizational aids.
I can already hear some of you saying, "Aren't these good ideas for teachers to use with all children?" and my answer is an unqualified, "Yes! Absolutely!" The point is that an Indigo Child will suffer tremendously and often tragically if they are not treated with respect and fairness, as unique individuals with great things to offer the world. They will rebel. They will start to hate school. They will drop out emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and sometimes physically as well. They may turn to drugs or develop existential depression and become suicidal or violent. Did you know that all the perpetrators of school shootings have been Indigos? This is according to Nancy Ann Tappe, who first observed and documented the Indigo phenomenon. Wouldn't you like to help prevent school violence?
When the children come to your classroom, they may already be so angry with the way they have been treated by the educational system thus far that they may be difficult to work with. They may come with the "don't mess with me" attitude because - guess what? They HAVE been messed with and they don't like it. You need to show them you are different and you are ready for them and willing to work WITH them. When they see this and know it to be true, they will respond.
If these ideas sound like common sense and you are already doing them, Congratulate yourself, You're a VERY good teacher! You're no longer stuck in the Old Energy of traditional educational teacher/student dynamics which just doesn't work any more! If you are not doing these things, but are considering them as a potential change - Congratulations! You are open minded and willing to change with the times and with the children.
What Your Child Really Wants in a Home by Colleen Langenfeld
When you welcome a new child into your family, it is an exciting time. Parents usually spend a great deal of resources - time and money - to prepare for the new family member.
As someone who has been parenting for over two decades and has watched my children grow from tiny babies to productive adults, I can understand that any helpful words of wisdom for new parents need to be about more than just which stroller to buy.
My children can tell you that it is not the toys or furniture or gadgets that got them to where they are today. It was the values in our home. Here are a few of the most important values that we used in our family.
Stability is a value that is in short supply these days. There was a time when families often lived in the same home for years and kids attended the same schools from start to finish. A community provided stability just by being there. Those days, for the most part, are gone.
We moved a few times when our kids were growing up and they had to learn to deal with those realities. A lot of that training was good for them, although difficult at the time. As parents, we learned that it was up to us to provide a home of stability for our kids because the externals in our lives were quite transient.
So we focused on making our marriage strong, so the kids could depend upon our relationship together. We focused on nourishing long term friendships so the kids would have stable adult relationships to relate to as they grew. We committed to choosing a church community we could be a part of for years and years. When the kids developed healthy friendships that supported our family values, we made sacrifices so that the kids could maintain those friendships as long as possible.
Cultivating respect in a home means cultivating long term benefits. Want to have teens that will listen to you someday? Develop a respectful homelife now.
Being respectful to your spouse and earning his or her respect in return is one of the best things you can do for your marriage, too. And the best thing you can do for your kids is to nurture your marriage.
Teach your kids how to earn respect. Listen to them and honor their opinions. Then be the leader in your home and make the decisions that will take the best care of your family, whatever sacrifices you need to make. When your kids see that you put your family above your own self interests, they will know they can trust you. And the respect will follow.
Kids argue. Parents bicker. Being a part of a family means learning how to handle day-to-day conflicts and frustrations. The family is the training ground for being human.
Your kids WILL learn something in your family, the question is, WHAT will they learn? It's easy to be sloppy with relationships; it's more difficult to be intentional. Make it a priority in your household to practice random kindnesses. This will smooth out a lot of the daily angst that naturally arises in a family.
You can do simple games such as requiring that family members do two acts of kindness for every act of hurt, whether intentional or accidental. It gets people thinking in terms of being good to each other. It helps people think twice before they're careless with one another. It just works.
As you begin down the rewarding path of parenting, remember these words of wisdom for new parents. Focus on filling your home with stability, respect and kindness and watch your family flourish.
Natural Parenting - Raising Your Kids Naturally! by Leilah McCracken
Raising a natural child is a difficult task. Ask a thousand parents how to do it and you will get one thousand different answers. in fact you will find there is no right or wrong way. What matters the most is that your child is brought up in a happy and healthy environment, an environment where he or she is loved, respected and cared for in every facet of their life, and that they know you will always hold them in your heart and be there for them when needed.
Here are some additional tips in the raising of your child that I try to incorporate in my life:
Be a parent first and a friend second.
Offer praise on a task well done as well as stars for high marks in school.
Hug and kiss your child every day.
If your child makes a mistake, don't demean or punish, but discuss and console. This is a big one. Let kids learn from natural consequences.
Read to your child every night. I do this with my 5 year old and it has helped us bond and grow closer.
Listen to your child, without judgment.
Do not use guilt to make your child do anything he or she does not want to do.
Enjoy a special time with your child. Set aside a few hours a day to laugh and have fun.
Offer advice when asked and keep silent when necessary.
Get physical - what I mean is get outside and play together.
Show interest in anything your child seems to relate to.
Introduce your child to the arts including music, theatre, museums and dance.
Answer questions honestly and openly. Never lie to your kids.
Provide proper nutrition and incorporate exercise in your child's day.
These are only a few tips that you can try in raising a natural child. Every parent, however, has to go through the process of being a parent. It takes time, but it's worth every precious moment.
Today, more than at any other time, raising children is a daunting task. With so many outside influences one hardly knows where to begin. Trust your own instincts, they will never fail you. More importantly, remember that your child is relying on you to counsel, teach, listen and solve most of their problems. At some point you will have to send them out on their own and allow them to learn from their own mistakes. But until then, just love them and keep them always in your heart.